My Nomances

I’m Tootin’ My Own Horn. Handle It.

Male, 26, Australia

About Me

Not to toot my own horn, but I think there’s far more to me (and anyone) to put into a little box that barely takes up a quarter of the page. That said, I’ll do my best.
I’m an intelligent, straightforward young whippersnapper who enjoys walks, vigorous conversations, movies, writing and sometimes *gasp* goofing off. I don’t need anything in my life, but I do want. I like keeping fit, and I’m very funny (or so they say).
You don’t get a picture at this stage because handle it, that’s why. But don’t worry, I’m gorgeous. I can’t even put into words how not disappointed you’ll be, and I write for a living.

What I’m Looking For

I’m looking for someone who can be as serious as they are funny. I’m not looking for ‘the one’ or a ‘perfect match’ - I’m really just looking at everyone and seeing what I like. I wanted to write ‘I’ll know when I find it”, but I thought that was too vague. Not like this summary, this isn’t vague at all. AT ALL. All I can say with certainty is that you’d better be up for some extreme conversations, it’s hard to shut me up. I like that in a woman.

I have a feeling I know what you’re REALLY looking for…. A mirror. And perhaps a voice recording device so that when you (finally) get sick of talking about yourself you can listen to yourself talk about yourself.

Hilarious, Tacky and Awful Profile Nicknames, Vol. 2

likemindedguy - Male, 26

Are you claiming to be like-minded with everyone? That’s just a poor cover-up for having no opinions on anything whatsoever. And probably no soul.

justdoit2009 - Male, 28

So this guy is married but wants to meet up with girls for coffee and a chat. Don’t think on that too hard ladies, just do it.

SambaDeAmigo - Male, 28 

Rough translation: Brazilian music style of friend. He speaks Spanish but is actually white? What a talented lad.

isabookthief - Female, 25

You meet a girl through a dating site. You both hit it off really well, conversation and alcohol flows, before you know it, she’s back at your place, in your room, and the action begins….

In the morning you wake up, but she has left without saying a word. And she’s taken your whole Twilight series. Probably for the best, actually.

sleepwithme700 - Male, 31

Points for non-ambiguity.

lastingmoments - Female, 31

It’s a nice way of warning you that being in her company is a massive drag. Kinda like describing a run-down shack as a “renovator’s dream,” really.

invertedthumb - Male, 31

You have a thumb-shaped hole in your hand where your thumb should be? Or are you making some tenuous dirty joke that I can’t comprehend?

willcarryshopping - Male, 32

Finally, a man who is realistic about the total sum of all he is worth. Ok, that was harsh, but really, is that your best selling point?

Sparky

“When people are sometimes asked to describe me, the term “spark plug” is often used.”

Spark Plug (noun) definition: A device inserted in the head of an internal-combustion engine cylinder that ignites the fuel mixture by means of an electric spark.

Dirty.

Wrong Site, Man

Male 26 Australia
About Me

my history I had a bad child hood back when I was growing up my brother was a bully brother and sister was always close I was always the odd one out my mother cheated on my dad and left then came back cause the bloke who she had and affair with kicked her out she ended up marrying him a bloke who coudnt care less about me cause my old man gotten married my old man tryed to do the decent thing when my mom came back but he left and ended up getting married to my step mother though I felt she didnt care about me which led to depression which made me to commit suicide countless times my family dominated me I felt like I warnt allowed to voice my say I felt heart broken mostly when I was growing up I been forced into situations that I didnt want to be in all my friends deserted me and my ex also did but im trying to turn my life around for the better

Wow dude, this is all pretty fucked up. Are you sure you weren’t looking for some sort of online Psychiatric service when you found this site?

What I’m Looking For

someone who accepts me for who I am and has patients thats all I ask for

Well of course, all good Psychiatrists should make you feel good about yourself, and the more patients they’ve helped, the better. (How right was I?)

Eh?

Male 27 Australia

hi my name hussey and am looking for someone who can understand me , am not bad guy or dodgy , romantic somhow ,and me be there are a lote if i talk ….

Somhow I think it may take a while for you to find someone who can understand you. It appears that me be you talk a lote of incomprehensible shit….

/yawn

Male 25 Australia

fun person
just join see how this goes
dont ask me to add more info on my profile
talk to me to get to noe me isnt this the point geting to noe eachother
by talking to each other or els it geting boring later on during the convo

U noe, just reading ur profile geting boring. isnt any point geting to noe eachother.

Oh! The Anticipation!

Male 31 Australia

hi im alex my friends will discribe me as funny caring and easy going i dont like to be serious and always like to be happy but when need to be i am im a single dad of one little boy i like to go out i like the movies coffees dinners drives weekend away and i dont mind stayn at home in front of the tele snuggled up with someone i joined this site to see wats out there its been a while since ive been on the dating seen so

So?….SO?!!? What is it? Let me guess…. you’re going to repeat year 4 because you weren’t paying attention when your teacher explained punctuation, so you can improve your chances of picking up? No, that’s not going to happen is it? Every likely lass who reads about you is doomed to read with a dull, monotonous voice in her head.

I Don’t Know What This Means

Male 24 Australia

Well the word “personality” sounds really awesome when used for me…
my interest and hobbies are just simple… “simple” sounds fantastic again when used for me…. i love myself and sure u will too… so here we go…

I AM sure I will love this guy. Simply, he is personality. So here I go…

Just Capital

Male, 33, Australia

All Round Gentleman. Confident. Positive. Funny. Sincere. Genuine. Honest.
I like Yoga And Meditation. Been A vegetarian since a Kid. I love Everything Good In Life. I Think I Can Bring Out The Best In A Person.
Like to Travel. I can tell you more when we communicate.
I Can Send More Photos When We Communicate A Little.

There’s something about the over-use of capitals that makes this whole blurb sound incredibly condescending. Or perhaps like it’s being said AT you. By a robot.